"How's life?" People would ask. Well as for me, Alhamdulillah just got back my life :') --> felt sooo awkward to write those symbols emoticon haha
Though no one would bother how I have been doing I supposed, I guess jotting things down here would be great for a small momento hehe
Dec 2020: Alhamdulillah finished my medical school in a sane of mind despite all of the ups and downs during the COVID era. Even I didnt expect I would finished my study sobsob..
July 2021: Started my housemanship in Hosp Kajang and that's when I started to lose my life, losing myself MasyaAllah.. I no longer know who I was, who's friend, what's appreciation means, what's happiness, how to smile..all I know, I wanted to end my life EVERY SINGLE DAY Astagfirullah.. What make it worst was, my husband got transfered to Hosp Melaka and there goes me learning to adapt to LDR while adapting to accept my lifeless life.. yup, I was diagnosed with a mental disorder (which i wouldnt think need to be disclosed here), started on medication, but no one in the hospital knew except for my psychiatrist. Owh no one else knew including my parents except for my husband and my sister. I dont think telling others would benefits me in any where though..i really dont want people to look at me in sympathy and sadness, what more in despised or bad point of view. After all, no one bother when I was in the deep dark dungeon pun haha.. I lost contact with almost everyone I guess..when some thought I was sombong/lupa diri/lupa kawan without even bother to ask, only a few and true people come back and stays SubhanAllah *cryyyy*
Orite, next..
2023: I started to get back on my feet during my final postings.. I started to realize how life is not that bad haha.. I started to remember how much I wanted to do to others, how much I wanted to contribute back to my parents, how much I wanted to smile with my husband (who saw my grumpiest, nastiest attitude during those dark challenging days haha) and how much more I wanted to spend my life as. Off from meds after 1 year and Alhamdulillah finished my housemanship on time with no extension. Allahuakbar..one of the most adventurous journey where I learnt a lot to be who I am today but would never ever want to repeat nauzubillah min zalik.. My husband got his penempatan tetap in Hosp Kuala Lipis a month before I finished my housemanship, and I was devastated again to think of a more distant LDR huhu
But but but, Allah is the best Lover, after floating for only a month in Anesthesiology, I got my placement to Hosp Kuala Lipis too and Alhamdullillah we're now back as husband and wife, seeing each other every day, every morning, every breakfast, every lunch break, every dinner, haaa amek kauuu, after LDR 2 tahun haha bercinta macam baru kawen gituuu hahaha..
And here we are, on half of the year of 2024..how time flies..
I'm thankful for everything that has happened and I am moving on from everything that may hurt me in anywhere.. I guess I can finally say, I am living my life in the best way Alhamdulillah. I'm still lacking and improving, but it wont hurt to stop for a minute to look back and to be thankful for every blessing that Allah has put me into MasyaAllah..
If you're reading this till the end, thank you for taking minutes of your life to know mine :')
I pray for goodness in everything we do Aminn..
Salam =)
