Friday, January 13, 2017

I want...you

I am tired of being strongπŸ˜”

Currently, temp 37.5⁰C, runny nose, killing headache and worst, homesick.
This usually wouldn't come out from a so called positive strong Zalikha, but Allahu..here I am letting out the grief I held in me. Usually at this kind of time, mum would be by my side, taking care of every single thing I need, just to ensure I'm not in pain and at ease. Yes, I'm already used to taking care of myself since 18, I'm used to stay by my own. I get sick always. When would it ever be that I'm actually well pun kan.. And because of that, I hate to burden everyone around just because of my uncertain health. And I actually dislike the nagging that comes along with the care. Being sick is not my choice, do you really think I want to be this fragile? Allahu.. All I need right now is just mum's warm hug, soft brush on my head telling me that everything is gonna be alright InsyaAllah..

Allah, please make me strong..😒

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

dot dot dot

Peer pressure

THIS TIME MEMANG PEER PRESSURE BETOLLLL!!
I KNOW I WILL REGRET WRITING THIS BUT PLEASE I JUST NEED A PLACE TO LET THINGS OUT!

Salam and Hi! Alhamdulillah we're now in 2017, more responsibility, more works, more pressure from everyone, age is increasing and welllllll heyyyyyyyyyyyy...I'M 24 YEARS OLD MASYAALLAH!

*literally screaming out my lungs MasyaAllah I'm 24 alreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*

T_T

Yes I'm not ready for this, yes I'm still clueless of how a 24 years old little lady should be, and yes I'M SO STRESSED OUT!
A friend is sending her boy to school already this year, a junior got married, a senior is conceiving and is awaiting for a baby, another friend is celebrating their anniversary, another one is posting the pictures of her child everyDAY, little cuzzy is getting married this march..and today I received a news from my close friend AND SHE IS GETTING ENGAGED THIS FEBRUARY INSYAALLAH!

AND I'M STILL HERE HAHAHA BLOGGING THIS THING ALL BY MY OWN HAHAHA STILL CONFUSED ON WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PNEUMONIA AND BRONCHIOLITIS!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK HAHAHAHAHA..,I'M COOL, I'M HAPPY FOR HER AND IT'S OKAY I'M OK ALREADY ALHAMDULILLAH  HAHA

KBYE.
Signing off to finish my assignment huhu.. Another 2 years and a half to end this InsyaAllah so let's stay strong Zalikha, Allah has a better plan for you!

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

That night

She couldn't sleep well last night.

And all she had been thinking about was...you. She missed you a lot that she couldn't find a way to convey it to you. So much that she couldn't think how it would be if it's not you? How would she feels if you're gone? And all those worries played in her mind all night long.. at one point she wished she had the courage to call you last night, she begged herself so many times, to tell you how much she missed you, how much she wished to be right by your side and how scared she is to lose you.

Tired of rolling from side to side, she woke up, performed her ablution to face The One and The Almighty, to ease her worries. She cried in her prayer, confessing her longing for you, knowing that it's only Him who could ease her and grand her the tranquility she's looking for. She then fall asleep while her fingers wiping off the tears that wouldn't stop flowing from her eyes.

That night she realised, she never expect that she would and she will miss and long for a person that much, and that person is you..


Sunday, December 18, 2016

Less than three


To fall in love is one thing.
To be in love is another thing.

You may fall for anyone around you, anyone who catches your eyes, anyone who's humorous and always make you laugh, anyone who looks stunning, anyone who's always there for you whenever you're sad or in need. It can be anyone with any reason.

But to be in love is not merely a feeling. It's a decision. Of all people whom you fall in love with, you decided to be in love with that one specific person. Only that one person. And what makes it weirder, you have no reason. No reason why did you choose that person. You realised that there are far better, fascinating, cooler, awesome, kind people you name it, compared to this person. But no matter how much you ask yourself and in whatever angle you're seeing that person as, that person just won your heart.


When you fall in love, things become sweet. Phone calls, morning wishes and midnight goodbyes, you anticipate the day to meet that person. You don't really have to do anything, you just embrace the feeling and the sweetness that overwhelm it. The thing is, over time..those sweetness may fade. Phone calls may annoys, small mistakes bring up huge fights, you may stop taking care and it no longer excite you to be with that person. This is the cycle in EVERY relationships, you really can't avoid it. Worst, you feel like to start new with other people. This is when the relationship fails and breaks.

The key of a great relationship is not finding the right person, it is learning how to love the person that you found. You may love to be embraced verbally, but it doesn't mean the other half appreciate it the same way too. However, you know you are in love when you accepted the differences and preferences and use it to show your loves. You learn how to make the other person happy, you enjoy their cup of tea. You participate their favor with pleasure. You look for ways and more reasons to stay in love with that person, to sustain the feelings that linked your hearts together. There'll be ups and downs, but you put your best efforts days and nights, to make the relationship works. Day by day, you'll see more imperfections and flaws in that person, but that doesn't stop you. All you ever want is, to always be with that person.

Now listen here. If you found the person who makes you work so hard for the relationship, never let them go. Never take them for granted. Trust me, no one else could love you the way the person have been loving you, no want would ever try hard as much as that person have been fighting to always stay with you. And to have someone who loves you unconditionally, it's a bless and the best gift MasyaAllah. Yes there are better people around you, so do they. But of all people, they choose you. They decided to be in love with you. See, love is a decision.

People will come and go into your life.
But it is up to you to decide who you let to walk away, who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go :)

Awak, sabar tau.. *^^*
Salam ;)

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Hurted to never hurt

Olla!

It has been a while right. Biasalaa tu, people would only look for their blog just when they have no other way to express their inner thought. Alaaa sama la macam kawan-kawan yang cari kawan-kawan bila tengah susah je kan? Eh?! No, no..I'm not going to talk about others in this post haha..

Basically, I started my 3rd year of Medicine last week, 4/10/16 and after a week of short and not so sweet orientation, I started my class or more precise, my clinical year last Monday Alhamdulillah! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I was sooooo excited! MasyaAllah after all those struggles since A-Level, then foundation, then my 1st and 2nd year in Medicine, at last I'm here in my 3rd year. No more studying with cadaver, no more dead specimens, no more inactivated microbes to be viewed under the microscope, now I'm dealing with alive humans, REAL PATIENTS, in a real hospital! I'm excited  and thrilled at the same time.


Clinical years are totally different with pre-clinical years, and I have to change my daily routine, my study timetable. I prepared mentally and physically for a rumoured-busy hectic chaos and tiring life in the hospital. So my first day in Hospital Klang, I was divided into smaller group of 2-3 students by my lecturer, to clerk a patient (which he just pointed at whoever he wish) without any guidance or reference. Hahahaha gilerrrrr tak gelabah!! 1st time kot, nak approach patient and tak pernah2 belajar buat history taking (ok, theoretically ada laa dlm klas briefly what should we ask). Terkial-kial tanya patient soalan! Hahaha but then my lecturer came back and explained everything after letting us doing it ourselves first. So Alhamdulillah I passed my 1st day well after more clerking and meeting more patients. But MasyaAllah I was totally worn out that day, hahaha..'I passed out' after Isyak till 12midnight before I woke up for some pre-read for tomorrow's topics. Haaaaa..amacam? hahaha..acahhh sgt baru 1st day *lempang diri sendiri*


Ok 2nd day is quite challenging for me, because I'm still clueless of how clinical years actually work. And truth to be told, I didn't really prepare emotionally :( I forgot that I will have to deal with nurses and doctors or staffs who's busy with their works and might think my presence is just a nuisance or who'll look at me merely as a noob student haishh.. So those thing did affect me emotionally..sedeyhhh bolehhhh bila kita tanya soalan orang jawab mcm nak tak nak, or worst buat kita mcm pokok hiasan semata2. They saw us but they ask or do nothing about it, Ye laa, pokok hiasan semata-mata haha.. Yes I do realised this thing way long before but I didn't expect people can be that mean. hahaha..ok It's me myself yg expect lebih so yeayhh I went home quite not feeling satisfied, still tired but worst, I still couldn't find my pace to study. I read my books but nothing seems to stick into my brain huhu T_T

Today, my third day, I'm not having the same spirit that i hv on my 1st day. I was quite disappointed with myself as others hv already found their way to study for clinical but I'm still adapting and lost. Yes I was totally lost and today I asked myself for so many times "Is this what I wanna do for the rest of my life?", I feel tired that I don't even feel like entering the ward and clerk the patients. I feel numb, I don't even feel anything. Terok kan? Baru lg kot πŸ˜” So yes, i told myself maybe I'm just lost and tired, n maybe hormone changes affect me too (since I'm currently in that time of the month), I shouldn't even think about giving up now. Thus I had a short walk alone around the hospital, talking to my own heart and to Allah. And wallahi, I really want to be a doctor! A good one, a kind yet influencing doctor who won't be taking people for granted InsyaAllah. I REALLY DO!

Allah is the sweetest love of all SubhanAllah 😭 I've been looking forward to observe a labour since the first day, I went to labour room everyday but whenever I do there's no labour or the mother had just given birth right before I enter, but my friends managed to observe not one but lots of labour and other procedures! Mestilaa jeles kan *nampak sangat niat tak betol nak jeles buat apa! lempang balik diri sendiri* Tapi, tapi tapi Alhamdulillah today, Allah pujuk hati yang semakin lemah ni dengan cara yang paling sweet, He finally gave me the chance to observe one! 😭 The mother was small as me myself. Thing was chaos and hectic, and after a few attempt, from that small mother a baby is out crying his heart out SubhanAllah!

What a beautiful thing MasyaAllah 😭😭😭 I almost cry, i feel like calling my mum at that second. But I didnt haha..i just kept things inside. And Alhamdulillah, I found my strength again, I found my motivation. I want to do this again, and InsyaAllah for the rest of my life. I know things will be hard, will always be hard but if I can accept things well, Allah won't disappoints me right? He will surely show me the way InsyaAllah. If not today, maybe tomorrow. And all i hv to do is to believe in Him. He's always there. He never leave me alone 😭 So here I am, hoping to finish my MBBS well. I will get tired again one day I know, but I promise u, I wont think about giving up again InsyaAllah. Do pray for me can you? I am doing this InsyaAllah, I will finish this InsyaAllah 😊

Allah never say it is going to be easy, He said "With hardships, there's ease"
:')
And if ever I forget, will you remind me back of how I gain my strength?
Tabarakallah! May His blessing showered upon us Aminn :)

Friday, September 2, 2016

Mum knows everything


I shared everything with my mum, from what I am eating today, to what makes me sad or what colour is my tudung, all my crushes (wow plural kot XD) , everything. I even tell her how much I want to get married, to what type of guy I am looking for, my dream house, and what I planned for my honeymoon InsyaAllah hahaha.. but most of the time, things are spoken only as a joke, just for us to laugh and build our imagination together haha..

But today, I had the most serious 'lecture' from her. Usually we talked like a friend, but today..it was so different. She made me realised things that I didn't see, she made me ponder back everything that I've done, and she made me think about life and marriage in farrrrrrr moreeee serious way. And most importantly, she made me realised that I am supposed to view life seriously. I am an adult huhu.. Allahuakbar, she almost made me cry :'(

To love you have to trust. I told her, I actually has forgotten how it is to love somebody, I forgot how should we show it, how does it feels like to be in love and how afraid I am to start loving someone again. I didn't plan to tell her but things just got spilled out of my mouth before I can shut it up. And she comforted me in the way that I've never imagine SubhanAllah.. Mum really knows everything, right? ;')

I really wonder, is it the time already? Should I? Will I be fine?
Allahurabbi, guide me all the way Aminn

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Just a little bit more of that..and this..and you too


I'm a person who loves to cook! *love to cook je, xbmaksud rajin masak or hebat masak XD*

I watched rancangan memasak from all over the world, senang ckp Asian Food Channel tu mmg favourite la haha.. There's one thing I like bout cooking. You're adding all different kind of ingredients, from the saltiest salt to the sweetest sugar, some spicy spices then some sour lemon skin, then creamy milk and some rosemary, but wallaaaaa u made a food, edible one of course haha. Everything just blended in and balanced each other to form such a wonderful food. It's amazing SubhanAllah! ^_^

And it happens that we can actually view ourselves as one of the ingredients. Let say I am a sugar. I am sweet. everyone need sugar. But too much of sugar wouldn't taste that great. I can also cause harm if taken excessively, right? Then maybe I'll need some salts. And some chicken. And some sauce, both chilli and tomato sause. Not to forget some onion and garlic. Some spices too.. And with everyone, I may come up with ayam masak merah! weeeeeeeeeeeee haha..

See? Everyone around us have their own purpose and reasons. We need each other to do something big or to be better. Maybe being you alone seems enough, but with others, we can do more! So appreciate everyone around you! Take some time to talk with them, to understand them more, lend some hands and give more smiles. You won't lose anything InsyaAllah, trust me :) You will just get better...and lovelier ^.^



Dear future husband, I dont mind other thing but a nice kitchen is a must for me for our own house later InsyaAllah haha.. Ye la, nak isi perut abang jugak nanti kan? kihkihkih

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Abnormally normal

"Sihat?"

Hahaha.. Alhamdulilah sihat, bahagia mcm biasa, happy sentiasa Alhamdulillah. Medically heart rate normal, blood pressure normal. But lately ntah haha..normal ke for a person sengih sorang2 time cuci pinggan, time mandi, time drive? Normal ke klau kta tringat-ingat apa yang tertulis dlm wassep ke, twitter ke, mana2 la pastu sengih sorg lagi? Huhu..risau sbnanya, seorang zalikha ni dah kenapa, sebelum ni tak macam ni pun..rasa mcm tak pernah experience otak tak brapa nak normal mcm ni >.<" Eh tak, I'M NOT IN LOVE ngn sapa2 pun..so bukan angau cintan cintun erh. Cuma rasa mcm nak senyum je sentiasa hahaha.. Moga baik2 je la seorang Zalikha ni, jangan orang label gila sudahhh

Zalikha, jaga hati tau!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

D

Dear one specific friend,

It has been 9 years..

Image result for dice cakeFor a flawed me to have a friend like you, Alhamdulillah it has been a bless :) We may not talk that much, we may not see each other anymore, we may not even contact each other that frequent, but only Allah knows how much I treasure the friendship that we had. And I really hope I can do more for you..but distance drifted us apart, new friends coming in, more responsibilities on our shoulders. And I accepted the fact that we have limits and boundaries to be taken care of. Now we're both grown ups. So, dear you..despite we are no longer as close as how we used to, I never forget you in my prayers, I never forget the days when we had each other, I never forget when crying was my only solution and you were there without hesitation, I never forget when it was you who trusted me and supported me that I can be a great leader, I never forget the smiles you carved on your face just to make me happy and the laughter we shared together. We hit rock bottom when we had other people and commitments, we stopped talking, we lost trust with each other but SubhanAllah, Allah brought us back together because I know I wouldn't find anyone else just like you.

Happy 23rd birthday, may Allah bless you with abundance of love and kindness.
Thank you for making me the best friend of yours, thank you for everything.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Decision

Few weeks ago, I made a very serious decision. It took me quite some time to be sure of what I am dealing with. I was and I am scared. I really hope not to repeat the same mistake. I really hope this could be the one. I really hope this could be the answer to my doubts. I really hope this will end my waiting InsyaAllah. May Allah show me the way, may Allah enlighten my path Aminn..

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Change

Tahun baru, azam baru..

"Azam tahun lepas pun tak settle lagi.." *sengih busuk tak gosok gigi*


Aloha! Alhamdulillah 2016 is finally here. With all tragedy happened in 2015, all those challenges and trials we're faced with, Alhamdulillah we managed to be here, breathing normally with limbs all still intact and still able to think and act rationally. Though some of us are tested with some difficulties here and there, we can't deny how much Allah blessed us that we're still alive, peacefully today SubhanAllah.

2015 has been nice to me, in fact I found the strongest me in 2015. I cried, I whined and wailed my heart out, I lost myself, I was depressed , I always feel lonely, I got sick, I got sick of myself for always getting sick, I got tired with my study, I got tired remembering things for the sake of exam, I doubted myself, I did feel wrong and I did feel like giving up. Yes I did!

Sometimes, even the strongest has a fear of being the strongest. Why? Because people eventually stop taking care of them, because people stop asking if they are okay, people stop asking if they need anything, and people start to forget that they are also human, a weak mankind!

There was this time when I'm unable to wake up from bed due to my killing-migraine, my attendance was bad for about 3 weeks.
There was this time when things that I have forgotten for about more than a year, came back and broke my heart, destroying every pieces of me.
There was this time I shut myself off from everyone, I cried with all my heart.
There was this time I got confused with my heart and always blamed myself.


But I am still here..still on my path to become a great doctor InsyaAllah, to give more to ummah InsyaAllah. And I'm still here..still the strong Zalikha...because, I always have Allah :')

His love are incomparable MasyaAllah ;') He protected me, He guided me, He showed me the way and He's always near. He gave me such supporting mum and dad, sibling, He sent me greats friends, He placed me among the religious and scholars, He gave me the opportunity to ask a lot of doubts in me and answered me in the best ways MasyaAllah..

He made me believe that "I can change things I see by changing the way I see things"

So, let us turn all negativity into positivity. Surround yourself with positive vibes, try to see things from different perspective, think first before you act, afterall Allah wont test if you can't bear it :) Smile always and trust me, you'll find your life happier and brighter InsyaAllah.


Have a great new year, aim high, give more, expect less and love yourself more!
Salam.. :D

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Day 1 #ZalikhaTakeJapan

Salam alaik!

Can't believe we're about to meet 2016 in about 2 more days MasyaAllah :)) So how's your 2015? heee...Mine? Was AWESOME Alhamdulillah! I've been great, better and stronger InsyaAllah :)

So last September, I went to JAPANNNNN hahaha..representing my uni for cultural exchange for 3 days and another 7 days for real HOLIDAYSSSS!! Hihi..

We departed from KLIA2 on 26/9/15 at 240pm via AirAsia, with 31 students and 2 lecturers. It was quite a big group and honestly, I was worried if that big group may bring any problem later in Japan but Alhamdulillah everything went well, their teamwork was awesome and we love each other more after the trip :D

And after about 8 hours flight, we reached Haneda Airport, JAPANNN!! Heeeee..since it was my first oversea trip, I was sooooo jakun and really look forward for new experience :))

The second we arrived, we would want to tell our family first la kan..so gigih laa cari wifi bagai. owh I downloaded few apps in my phone but I uninstalled some already and I can't really recall which was. But here's some:

Tabimori-Ni mcm travelling book, blh baca dulu life, culture n tradition kat Jepun mcm mana, then ada gak subway guide, weather forecast, currency converter, translator, news etc. Tp I dont really used this apps time kat Jepun, baca time kat Malaysia je.


Tokyo Metro Subway-Ni memang kna ada! Sebab MasyaAllah, subway line kat Jepun sangatlaaaaa banyak and nama macam2 and memang akan clueless la nak g mana klau stakat tau nama destination. Sbb satu stesen pertukaran tu boleh ada dalam 6 lines skaligus, klau salah naik, all the best la cari balik jalan pulang. Tp don't worry la, terlepas satu tren InsyaAllah next tren akan smpai dlm 5 minit je. On time ooo geng! (Tp sejujurnya sy xpakai pun apps ni sbb my fren yang akan cari which way to go, I ikut je >.<" )

Halal Navi-Ni for me kena ada la sebab agak susah nak cari kedai makan halal kat Jepun. Ada memang ada, tp susah nak tau sebab ntah semua macam nampak fishy. So memang kna make sure dulu la betul tak halal, baca other people's comments at the restaurant you would want to go tu. Then klau mmg dh usaha, then bak kata lecturer ktorg "Bismillah, makan." TAPI MAKE SURE USAHA DULU TAU! And and and....usually klau makanan tu mcm extra sedap lain glerrrr dasyat sedapp, istighfar laaa banyak2, sbb even students kat sana ckp usually yg sedap tu laaa tak halal huhu T_T Bila ada ragu2 tu, tak yah laa makan..syubhah. Owh apps ni siap ada maps yg ala2 waze utk bwak kita ke kedai2 halal tu.

Free Wifi-Ok, Japan sangatlah pemurah ngn wifi merata2, and mostly memang free. Klau pengguna android ada app ni dlm fon, senang ckit laa sbb dorg blh connect directly n automaticly  klau ada wifi available. Tp klau ipong user...hhmmm...rs mcm xyah kot. Sbb even if ada pun, still kna log in wifi manually. So bila nak wifi, cari manually kat setting then connect, pastu log in via Safari. Even kat airport pun sama tau. Even though u're already connected, tp klau x log in via Safari, mmg idok aderrr la notification masok oo geng..

Google Translate-For me, ni sangat membantu. Especially klau beli makanan yang ada tulis ingredients tp kta xpaham sepatah pun sebab dalam tulisan Jepun. Best sebab kita boleh ambik gambar, then slide ur hand tru the words that you wish to be translated then WALLAAA...u'll get the translation in any other languange you want. Awesome wa cakap luuu..

Rasanya tu yang basic kna ada kot.. Ada lagi yang lain, tapi I don't really use them. Offline maps pun penting jugak sebenarnya in case you got lost and there's no wifi available. But again, I don't really use it heheh..

Ermm..apa lagi erh? Owh imegresen line was longggggggg but the officers were good and friendly, some can speak few BM words so mmg kita rasa woowwww la kan..hahaha.. Then, picked up our luggages. My friend's beg pecah and patah roda, dah laa beg baru beli n baruuuuu je smpai Jepun. Sadly insurans tak cover pun tp don't worry dia dah beli beg baru fresh from Jepun haaaa..saje je nak pecah beg bagai kan?

An officer from Josai University waited for us outside of the airport. Then, ktorg naik bas prepared by Josai University sama2 to our hotel, Sakura Hotel situated at Asakusa.  Since it was already midnight, we can't really see how Japan looks like but seeing all bill boards, sign boards all written in Japanese, rasa macam tengah shooting drama Jepun *tink*

I'm sorry I couldn't attach any picture here because I can't find the folder in my hard disk. huhu.. Hari seterusnya will be continued in next post but I can't promise to post about it asap hoho..

Salam!


Friday, August 7, 2015

Cinta Dia yang Satu..

Salam!

Holllllaaaaaa..jam 0221pg, I'm on my bed, surrounded by files of notes and here I am bubbling on my own just to share a piece of word said by Diyana, my housemate just now.

Before that, do you remember me saying how disappointed I was with my semester 2 exam, how hard  it was and how sad I was after the exam? We received the result last week. All I could expect was "Ya Allah, lulus pun jadi la.." *with a long cry in my heart sbb my new agreement with my sponsor is to get 3.5 (B+)  in exam to continue to be sponsored T_T and obviously 'lulus' is not enough*


Tapi tapi tapi..MasyaAllah *insert a crying face here* Allah itu Maha Sweet! Alhamdulillah, I passed and SubhanAllah *insert another crying face but with a smile here* I am about 0.5 point below 3.5...dlm 3.0 la (xplu la bgtau gred apa) Alhamdulillah.. Seriously it was totally unexpected! Yes I know 3.0 tu xde la gempak mana pun tapi..Allahuakbar *i bet dak2 medic fhm la kot* eventhough you feel like you've read everything *which actually never occur*, you still cant expect the questions that may be asked.

Apa2 pun, we proceed to what Diyana said to me;
"Ikha, ikha xrasa ke result semester 2 tu semata-mata sbb ALLAH TOLONG? Ikha, exam hrtu susah glerrr kot tp Alhamdulillah result baik."

"Mungkin ada berkat sebab time tu kan bulan puasa, mungkin berkat kita rajin pegi terawih kat masjid wlaupun org lain ada yg trawih sndri je sbb nk jimat masa nk study"

And that makes me ponder.. "Hhmm..minah ni bgus gak erh" haha..xde2 gurau je

The point here is not about we're good to terawih at masjid bla3, tapi it's about 'keberkatan'. When you put Allah first in everything, InsyaAllah Allah will put you first in everything too. When you know which one is your priority, InsyaAllah you can divide your responsibilities well. And tabarakallah, you will not lose anything biiznillah :))


May Allah ease, may Allah bless.
Thank you for all doa and keep praying, professional exam on Monday InsyaAllah and I have to kill it.

Hazamin fadhli rabbi!

"Tajdid niat selalu. Buat semua, semata-mata kerana Allah"
Salam..

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Will you pray for me?

Salam..

Currently, at this moment, while I'm seating alone at one corner of the library, deep in my heart, I'm feeling like crying out loud, weeping like a baby and wailing like kitten :,( Professional exam in one week time and here I am still lost with my revision I'm like losing my passion my spirit I just dont know I don't understand myself :,( Usually when I feel this way, it takes just few days before I gain back my strength so I really appreciate if you, yes you who read this, whoever you are, please pray that "May Allah give strength to Nur Zalikha Yusup to achieve her dreams, may Allah ease her way, may Allah enlighten her burden and may Allah give her success Amin Aminn Aminn"

T_T

Jazakumullahu khayr.. May Allah bless Aminn..

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Saya ada satu ringgit je T_T

Bila jiran mula tanya, " Ni yang blaja kat India tu ke?"

tettttttttttttttttttttttttt...............

Hahahaha.. Assalamualaikum! Halooo halooo..Dr Ikha iz backkkkk!! *iyerrrr gasak jakkk..bagei ada org nggu jak tek koh ola kaseh*

So yeayhh Alhamdulillah I'm still alive, maseh dberi peluang untuk bnafas dengan aman di bumi Allah, Alhamdulillah masih waras walaupun dah hampir satu tahun sbgai pelajar medic haha, and Alhamdulillah diberi peluang untuk beribadah di bulan Ramadhan penuh barakah ni dan InsyaAllah bakal menyambut Aidilfitri disamping keluarga tercinta :)

So how's life?
Basicly I'm done with my semester 2 exam last week Alhamdulillah. tapi huhu....nak menangis pun dah habis ayaq mata sbb huhu...biarlah sy btawakal spenuhnya kpd Allah :'( Sometimes kta rasa kita dah usaha glerrrr and blja bagai nak rak, tp bla exam dpt soklan yg buat kta garu kepala tak sudah goyang kaki tangan badan sbb rs mcm xpnah blja pun T_T  Allahurabbi..

So dengan membawa jiwa yang lara, my frens and I went to Banting, kampung si Zaim untuk spent time ngn masing2, ngn nenek Zaim and beli krepek utk raya. I just know yang certain people do serve krepek for hari raya, klau kat kuching mmg penuh ngn kek lapis and biskut raya plbagai wrna atas meja. Alhamdulillah blja lagi satu budaya baru :)


We went to Pantai Morib and Alhamdulillah Allah kasi lagi tarbiyah dengan menemukan kami kpada seorang pak cik berbangsa India. Masa tu ktorg tgh amazed SubhanAllah tgk monyet yang byk gilossss atas pokok smpai gerun takut kena serang hehe. Tba2 monyet2 tu mcm histeria bising glerr bila nmpk pak cik ni. ok kita namakn Pak Jamal *bukan nama sebenar* Rupa2nya Pak Jamal tu dtg bwak pisang. Banyak pulak tu.. Satu2 dia baling kasi kat monyet2 tu, smpai ktorg pun rs seronok nak kasi gak. So stiap sorg ktorg sempat la try baling kat monyet2 tu hihi.. Seronok! Alhamdulillah :)

Excited kasi makan monyet ^_^

Done bg mkn monyet, Pak Jamal pun cakap laa "Itu hari saya menang nombor, jadi beli pisang kasi monyet makan, baru banyak tuah. Kadang2 sy beli roti kasi burung makan, kasi ikan makan. Kita tak rugi pun kasi mereka2 makan, kita sudah dapat wang kan. Jadi saya slalu datang, stiap minggu kasi makan"

Masa tu macam terpana laa.. MasyaAllah, baiknya hati pak cik ni. Kalau kita, msti tak ingat pun nak kasi makhluk2 Allah ni makan. Sbb bukan kebiasaan kita kan.. Tp point yg lagi penting yg ktorg dpt dr pak cik tu adalah, "Dalam rezeki yang kita dapat, ada bahagian rezeki utk orang/makhluk yang lain. Jangan tamak"

Astagfirullah, kadang kita lagi senang berkata2 dari lakukan. "Life is about what you give", senang sj meniti dibibir tp susah jugak nak lazimkan. Lagi2 hidup as student ni, poket mmg slalu kering *sadis T_T* nk mderma pun ada sringgit je dalam beg duit, tu pun maseh pikir lagi bimbang nak guna duit tu nanti..huhu.. Kena pulak mata wang dah jatuh kan. Susahnya nak keluarkan MasyaAllah >.<"

Tapi yakinlah, walau sikit nilai duit yang kita sedekahkan, walau jatuh nilai mata wang, andai kita lakukan ikhlas semata2 krna Allah, InsyaAllah banyak, berat timbangannya di mata Allah SubhanAllah T_T Allah tu sangat sayangkan hambaNya, smpai sepuluh sen pun boleh jadi sangat bernilai di akhirat nnti kerana Allah tahu keikhlasan hati hamba2Nya :')


InsyaAllah Ramadhan berbaki lagi 3 hari, jum kita pecut kumpul pahala sebanyaknya, moga2 even slps Ramadhan pun amalan baik kta berterusan smpai bila2 Aminn..

"Jangan tamak harta dunia, tapi tamaklah ganjaran pahala"

Moga Allah redha..
Salam :)

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Hanya doa


Pengharapan.
Pengharapan itu mbuahkan kekecewaan

Kepercayaan.
Kepercayaan itu mengambil masa untuk dkembalikan

Doa
Hanya doa yg mampu dikirimkan

Hati
Ya hati ini maseh sakit dan suram

Bahagia
Bahagia itu lebih bermakna kini berbanding sebelum

Coretan
Moga Allah sentiasa memelihara dirimu,
Semoga Allah jauhkan engkau drpd godaan syaitan, godaan manusia dan godaan dunia
Moga Allah bukak semula hatimu untuk terus tunduk djalanNya
Moga Allah pelihara hatimu drpd dosa yang engkau sedar
Moga Allah tunjukkn dirimu jalan yang benar
Moga Allah ampunkan dosa-dosamu
Moga Allah terima ibadahmu
Moga Allah sentiasa bersamamu
Moga Allah hadirkn kesedaran dlm hatimu

Aminn aminn aminn..

Percayalah
Hidup aku kini lebih indah
Alhamdulillah
Moga Allah temukan juga keindahan yg aku rasakan kini padamu
Agar engkau juga mngerti
Mengapa aku lebih pilih Dia drpd cinta manusia

:')
Tabarakallah!

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Perk of Zalikha's Life

Ollaaaa! Assalamualaikum ^_^

Heeeeee..What's up? How's life? Apa khabar iman? May Allah ease Aminn..
Alhamdulillah we reached December n in few weeks we'll be entering 2015!! InsyaAllah :)
"I'm feeling 22~~" Hahaha..


Basically, Alhamdulillah I am, I mean WE ARE now a 1st year medical students in MSU n SubhanAllah, up till today, I still can't believe we reached this stage already. If you know our stories, u'll understand the challenges we faced to be here.


We enrolled on 22nd September 2014. Even the registration was challenging itself. Since it was in the middle of the month, we had some problems to look for fund to pay the registration fee, house to rent, money to pay 3-months deposit and other things to be bought. But Alhamdulillah everything has settled down and we're now in a great condition.



It has been about 3 months and I'm still adapting myself to medicine life. We had just finished with Progress Test 1, comprising Fundamental module and musculoskeletal module. And we're currently in haemopoietic and lymphatic system module. Study is not that easy but fortunately, not that hard. I often hear people saying medical students have no life, but nahhh.. I proved them wrong.


I joined many activities, during my free time, weekends and holidays. I joined dissection team (there's no dissecting session in usual class or in the syllabus, so this is after class), dissecting cadaver till midnight and Alhamdulillah I can study better that way. I joined circumcision event and watched the real thing and learned them in the best way SubhanAllah. I even had the opportunity to volunteer in many other events. At heart, I'm living my life to the fullest, not forgetting my responsibility for akhirat Alhamdulillah.


Owh I would like to take this opportunity to wished two of the best people in my life, the Pak Shazalis' children, Mohd Dzulkarnain Shazali and Nur Syahirah Shazali (they're not siblings, their dads happened to have the same name and they are both my BESTFRIENDS!) for their graduation day on 8-9/12/14 at UiTM Kota Samarahan. All your hard works are paid off and all the best in pursuing your degree! :)


I'm just a weak servant of Him. And for everything He had given to me, I just can't be happier to be blessed and guided all the way Alhamdulillah. People can say it's just the starting and I haven't see the real challenges in this field, but InsyaAllah I'm well prepared and will keep preparing myself. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless may Allah show us the right way and may Allah guide us till the end Aminn..


Salam..

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Bahagiaaa.. itu bukan segalanyaaa~~

Aloha!
Lamoss gilosss xupdate blog teehee..

BAHAGIA
Yup, that's me currently, Alhamdulillah :)
Sejujurnya sangat bahagia Alhamdulillah dgn kasih sayang dan rahmat yang Allah kurniakan tanpa henti
Bahagia dengan cinta halal dari mak bapak, siblings, family, bestfriends, closefriends The Kamboh haha and everyone around me Alhamdulillah..

I used to believe that one love from that 'one person' is sufficient and sweet.
I used to believe that one love from that 'one person' will lift me higher and better.
Yes I did Alhamdulillah but I still think that something is wrong..
So Allah test me and show me that one love from Him The Almighty is the one I've been looking for!

We can simply say "I love u for the sake of Allah"
But we always fail to understand it, to show it and to do it!
Facing the ups and down in the challenges, Alhamdulillah Allah show me the way,
Alhamdulillah that He didn't let me wonder alone on my own :)
And I come to realise that, loving people for the sake of Allah is to love till we meet in Jannah Aminn.

Until we meet in Jannah..
That's simply means, loving people that will always reminds us of Allah
loving people that will always makes us be proud of being a Muslim
loving people that will always reminds us about our duty as a Muslim
loving people that will always makes us do good things
loving people that will always makes us avoid doing sins and things forbidden
loving people that will always makes us miss Rasulullah
loving people that will always makes us to yearn for Jannah more and more every single day!!
AS LIFE IS THE BEST THERE SUBHANALLAH

So I've widen my point of view,
"To love sumone is not only to love that 'one person'
But to love every single person that Allah put in our pathway of life"
Everyone around us has their own reasons and responsibilities
There's reasons why they're here, There's reasons why we meet them and There's reasons why we get to know them :)
And once their responsibilities is done, they'll be gone.
Thus, appreciate people while they're still with you :)

Life is about what you give! So treat others as how you would like to be treated :)
Never expect! Expectation leads to frustration.
Ikhlas in everything you do, never ask for rewards.
Instead, pray that Allah accept all of our good deeds as ibadah Aminn..

Tabarakallah!
Jum sama2 berbahagia ^_^


Salam!


Sunday, June 1, 2014

Because every prayer counts..

Salam!!

Alohaaa.. It's me again, after changing my blog into private mode, I am now back!

I just can't stand holding 'this' in alone.
It's not that I dont hv anyone to talk to, but I prefer posting it to anonymous or anyone who'll not be seeing me cry talking bout this.


Something happened, exactly a month ago, 1/5/14 about at the same time as now, 9.54pm and it broke my heart :'(
Very much...like.. it gave a big humongous hole in me :"( VERY BIG AND IT HURTS
It's like my whole dream crashed, boomed and just name anything exploding :'(
My whole plans on how I wish to spend my life...Allahuakbar..I just cant continue my life :'(

Yes I was in pain, SO MUCH IN PAIN, even crying make it worst..
I cant share it to anyone, no one could understand and telling others would only makes them question me lots and lots of questions that even my ownself cant answer :"(

I felt like shouting, crying my whole heart out, shutting myself in my room, sleeping whenever I can, hoping not to wake up anymore :'(
YES, i lost my hope to stay alive :'(
I felt like killing myself n DIE!
Gone from this world, from everyone..


But, but, but..Alhamdulillah, I hv Allah :'(
He made me strong, He gave me directions, whenever I read Quran, almost all verses are meant for me :'(
Whenever I go facebook-ing, every posts seems comforting me,
When I go twitter-ing, all tweets touched my small heart
Allahurabbi, He's the sweetest love of all :'(


And today, it marks one month after that incident :'(
Physically Im ok, but internally Im still weak, still vulnerable and still lost
But, I've never stop gathering strength and faith
Despite they're fragile and may broke anytime, Im still gathering them from every piece of me
Dont worry, I know Im being tested, and trust me I never blame Allah
In fact, this thing makes me closer to Allah MasyaAllah


Reason Im posting this?
As told above, just to let things out evendo I know, people cant get my point
Also, to ask for prayers from everyone, to pray for my strength to endure this :'(
Seriously I need prayers from everyone :'(
Im just a weak human that may broke anytime, so please pray for me.. :'(

Pray that Allah will give me the best answer and solutions Aminn
and may my heart stay strong despite what's the outcome later Aminn
Pray that I'll continue my life as usual, as how strong I used to be Aminn
And pray that Allah will forgive me for everytime I lose hope and feel like dying Aminn
 :'(


With that, I hope no one will ask wad actually happened
Instead, continue supporting me in any ways
Thank you, thank you jazakumullah for reading, understanding and not judging
Lastly, thank you for praying for me..
May Allah bless Aminn
May Allah ease Aminn



Salam..